The season of Christmas has been my season, like many others, to reflect and prepare for the new year. This time around, the reflection has been heavy. 2020 was supposed to be the best year yet! It was the year I had my first baby and would get to show him off to all my friends, family, and summer crew. It was supposed to be the year of new chapters. It was supposed to be (fill in the blank here). But it wasn’t. I spent the better part of April and May crying, mourning the loss of what I thought and hoped 2020 would be. I would rock my new baby and feel so sad that he wasn’t being held close by all my favorite people while at the same time feeling so lucky that I got to be holding him. I was sad he didn’t get to see his first campfire skit or hear the hustle and bustle of campers running around at the pool. Not that he would remember any of that, but I had always envisioned that since realizing I was going to be a mom, my little guy would be a summer camp baby. Motherhood felt lonely at the start of this pandemic and not at all what I expected after seeing so many friends and sisters over the years becoming mothers and being able to hold and kiss their little babes. Now its December and I am still craving those things as I am pregnant again.
But my weary heart rejoices.
2020 wasn’t what I wanted or expected (like so many of you) but there was still joy along with my sorrow. There was still laughter amongst tears. There were still hugs and conversations that were born out of the shared experience of feeling lonely and sad in a global pandemic.
One of my favorite parts of Jesus’ birth story is reading about Mary. How when she was told she was not only going to become pregnant, but she was going to be birthing the Messiah. Mary questioned the angel at first but then she accepted and what I imagine, celebrated. She thought through what she would do with this little baby when he came into the world. She hoped for him. Prayed for him. And her weary heart rejoiced in him.
With this season of Christmas, I am rejoicing because my heart is weary, and it needs to celebrate. Jesus is the reason for the season, may we not forget. Especially now, at the end of 2020, it is important for us all to remember that Jesus is King. Let this season be one like never before. Open up your Bible, read through Jesus’ birth, and reflect on the person of Christ. And if you need a song to stir your weary heart awake, listen to my girl Lauren as she reminds us of all that is good.
The prince of peace has come.
The light of the world is here.
LET US FIND OUR REST IN HIM.